she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize