the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
