Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize