what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
