I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she smelled like a LAN party
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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