I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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