i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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