She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
