We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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