whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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