i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
