she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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