Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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