i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize