i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
