party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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