sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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