She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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