I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
