I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
