Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My vagina just recognized that song.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
