Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
