Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
