if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Soap is not a condiment
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
