what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
