We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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