He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
