he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
