I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
