Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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