I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize