3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My liver just had a heart attack.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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