so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Found the puke drawer
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
