Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
