Buhtt sex?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
