We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
