grandma shit on top of the toilet
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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