remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
