Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize