why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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