I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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