his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
