...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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