i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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