My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize