Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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