Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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