Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
