Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
