I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
