O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
