Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
