Don't make out with my wife yet
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
