Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She has the best kind of daddy issues
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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