I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
