You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize