the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ugly people sure do ruin things
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
