Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize