i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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