You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didn't notice because vodka
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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