the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
