I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had to cum in my sink.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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