Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
